To test?

The joys of trying to conceive have become few and far between.  It's more like the stress of TTC, or the anxiety of TTC or the frustration of TTC.  However, I can find a little humor in it still.  I was reminded of this humor stumbling upon one of my TTC friend's blogs today.  A while back (maybe when I had more humor about the TTC journey) I posted a list of one liners "You Know You're TTC When:"  It really is soo funny and sooo darn true, almost depressingly true! 

I would say for at least the first nine months of trying, I was a home pregnancy tester FREAK (a serial POAS'er in TTC terms)!  I should most definitely have stock in these.  I've bought the cheap, the expensive and everything in between.  At five days out of getting my period I would start testing!  However, after sooo many negatives it did start to become too emotional and expensive, so I stopped.  I always buy them at the same place, Walgreens...it's convenient, it's on my way home from work.  Whenever I go check out, I always get the same cashier.  It's an older sweet lady.  She never misses a beat.  Every single time I check out she says "Awww, will this be your first?"  I just look at her and say "Yes, God willing".  She replies "Ooooh I bet you'll be a great mother, I hope you're pregnant".  Inevitably I go back in a few days after buying the HPT's and buy stupid tampons! 

So, I am itching to go to Walgreens after work today.  I am less than five days away from getting my period OR NOT getting it.  I keep wavering.  I'm a little crampy, different kinda crampy, but still crampy...and that has me in the dumps!  I'm not sure if I could endure another "Will this be your first?" or another negative pregnancy test.  I have felt no symptoms this month.  Problem is if I test too early it could show a false positive due to the HCG shot I had.  Apparently a test can show positive for like 12 days or something, from the shot?  Now that would be a cruel joke :(  Maybe I might just test to see something positive in all of this, even if it is false. 

Anyways, I am still hopeful, I probably sound a little negative but I think I'm just apprehensive is all.  I think I will buy some tests, maybe I won't see the sweet check out lady :)  I'll keep ya'll posted...I should know something this weekend!