I'm terrible with titles, so there isn't one!

I always, without a doubt, feel convicted when I post stuff that points to the fact that my faith is not unshakable.  I know it's just human for me to feel fearful and stressed, especially under such circumstances.  However, not to my surprise, shortly after I drown in my sorrows I am brought back to reality. Reality like young people having to endure lung transplants due to cystic fibrosis, mothers losing children, children losing parents...I have read or seen things like this since my last post.  It's heartbreaking and of course, brings about an awareness of how incredibly, so incredibly blessed I truly am.  I know we all have different journeys and it's ok for me to feel glum.  However, what I want more than anything is for anyone that's reading this blog to know that no matter what, God has a perfect plan for your life.  It may not be perfectly presented the way we intended it to be, but the plan He has for us is only intended to bring Him greater glory.  I guess what is crucially important to me is to ensure that people that read my blog and see scripture posted around it, and read my professions of faith, grace and all that God has provided and blessed me with...I hope they aren't confused or want to question my true faith.  Does that make any sense?  I get beat down just like anyone else.  This battle calls me to question my body, my womanliness, my strength, my courage, my reproductive organs...just the ability to do one simple (or not, in my case) task that my body was designed for.  This battle does NOT have me wavering in my faith. If we are not to have our own biological child, then I know I did what I could do and we have to move on.  The Lord has a very unique, special and perfect agenda for us...we just have to remain patient and pursuant of His will.   

As far as the plan for IVF goes, we did decide to wait one month!  We are very glad we did.  It will give us more time to save money (mucho important), do some more acupuncture and just chill a little.  The schedule now looks like I will be starting birth control around September 17ish, start stims on October 20th and do a retrieval around the beginning of November...all tentative, but roughly around these times.  I had my saline ultrasound yesterday, not the most pleasant experience but I survived.  Everything looked really good, which was a relief because you just never know what is going on in there!  One thing that made me feel a little better was my resting follicle count.  Just a disclaimer before I move on...anyone that has not struggled with infertility or not done any treatments (also friends and family reading) will not understand any of the terms or what their significance is...so feel free to skim if you want, kinda boring stuff for the average person ;)  Anyhow, my resting follicle count was 12...7 on the right and 5 on the left.  It's not super duper, but for my AMH to be so low, I thought 12 was a good number!  Usually someone with my AMH level would have like 4-7 resting follicles.  So now I just wait and hope I get pregnant naturally this month...now THAT would be a MIRACLE and a money saver right there!!  I will, of course, be back for more updates once we get a little closer :)  Thank you again for all the support and love...means so so much!!