Beta #3

Just wanted to give a quick update on how my blood test went last Friday.  Surprisingly it came back so much higher than I ever expected at 6,617 (18dp5dt)!!  I was just praying for a number of about 3,000, so we were pleasantly surprised!!  Just another hurdle we have overcome and just another reason to praise God!!!!  We have our first ultrasound next Tuesday, Dec 4th...I'll definitely be back to update after the ultrasound :) Thank you for all of the congrats...just reading them is so surreal!!!

Beta #1 AND Beta #2

I'm so sorry to not have shared my first beta number and leave you guys hanging.  However, there was no way I could come on here and post my first beta right away, and heaven forbid my second beta wasn't good...I just couldn't emotionally do it.  So, I waited to hear back from my 2nd!  Now on to the news!!

Beta #1-182 (9dp5dt)

Beta #2-388 (11dp5dt)

Progesterone-107 (HOLY COW!)

We are pregnant!!!!!!!!  We couldn't be happier right now!  We are fully aware that we are still early, and we are certainly still proceeding with caution...but we are still celebrating!! Even after my first beta, I could barely get excited, but now I'm allowing myself to get a bit more relaxed and enthusiastic!

I actually tested 4dp5dt (wayyy early!) and got a faint positive.  I continued to test and they got darker and darker!  It's just a surreal thing to see that +, we haven't seen that in over 3 years of this crazy journey!  I'm still trying to figure out (ha) what is going on in "there"...I kinda feel like it could be twins, simply because I got a positive SO early, and I'm quite bloated to be so newly pregnant.  Beta numbers are really not a good indication of twins really, I have learned that.  My progesterone on the other hand, yikes!  I don't know much about progesterone levels, but in my little research, high levels of it can certainly be a good indication.  Who really knows though.  I will be so happy with whatever we are blessed with :)  We have one more blood draw next Friday and then an ultrasound in about two weeks.  My only symptoms so far are a pretty good bloat, a little extra tired, the boob thing, and super thirsty!  I'm not one to over think symptoms, I used to do that in the very beginning, but it drove me crazy and became quite silly....but I wanted to share because I know how I stalked pregnant people's blogs about their symptoms ;)

I asked my mother-in-law how you begin to thank God for this miracle going on inside my body??  I don't even know where to start?  It makes me cry just thinking about it!  Her answer was to share it with people, share that God is good and is full of blessings.  Well, my friends, God is GREAT...I've never doubted that in this journey, and heaven forbid anything happen...I will never retract that statement. I've heard this quote that God has three answers to prayers: YES, NO or NOT YET.  It's so true.  We give Him all the glory!!!!!!!!  And many, many thanks and gratitude to my supporters on here...it gave me the strength and endurance I needed in weak times.  Your prayers were heard, oh my, they were heard!!!

Transfer!!

I know...I'm a tad late!  I had my transfer Monday and everything went really well :)  My embryologist was ecstatic over how well my embryos were developing.  They transferred two...one was a 5AA and the other was a 4AA.  These are pretty much perfect blastocysts (from what she told me).  Of course I've googled the heck out of those grades for embryos and have read mostly amazing stuff...so here's hoping and praying!  They were able to freeze four embryos, which I'm totally happy with. 

Here we are with our little embryos.  Looks like there are 3 because one of them is already hatching out of it's shell...such an over achiever ;)  So now we just wait, and wait some more....the HARDEST part!  I'm just praying for enough strength for today and enough hope for tomorrow.  It's out of our hands and our destiny in this journey is best left in His hands.  Again, humbly asking for continued prayers as this is only half the journey!!  Thank you isn't even nearly enough....

"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, Be uprooted and planted in the sea, and it will obey you" Luke 17:6

Another step closer!!

My egg retrieval went very well!  I really thought I would be super nervous, but with all the prayer warriors out there, the Lord gave me so much peace...glory be to Him!  All I keep telling people that ask is how very blessed I feel already.  I feel blessed for this opportunity, blessed for the peace that surpasses all understanding, blessed for all the great results I'm getting so far, blessed to have such an amazing husband and support system...I am one blessed chick no doubt!! 

We went down to Greenville Tuesday night and stayed in a hotel because Asheville was calling for some snow...and I did NOT want to chance that drive (plus we were able to sleep in a little more).  This is all based on numbers and the perfect timing...could NOT be late to this.  I was put under and everything went very smoothly.  I was told pretty soon after I woke up that they retrieved 21 eggs.  The next morning I got the call from the embryologist that of the 21, 10 had fertilized normally.  You are expected to lose a few along the way, I hope not to lose any more!  So, I'm happy with that.  My expectations have been low simply because of my low AMH levels...so I'm totally happy with what we have!  I thought I would get regular updates, but apparently only 2.  She will call me very early tomorrow morning with another update.  So far they think I will be a 5 day transfer (which is preferred), but I will know more tomorrow!  I will be back for an update tomorrow :)  I'm feeling the love, support and prayers....it's working ;)

Retrieval time

Once again, sorry for the lack of updates!  This will be kinda quick, and I will be back for more updates after retrieval.  I finally took my last shot yesterday, the trigger shot...woohoo!!  49-52-ish shots, whewww!  I go in for retrieval tomorrow morning bright and early.  So far my ultrasounds have shown really great progress, but it's hard to hold all your hope on a great ultrasound scan simply because it can change so drastically after retrieval.  My bloodwork has been a little scary!  For those that know about E2 levels and OHSS will understand when I say my E2 level yesterday was 6700!!  That is extremely high, and that was before I even triggered.  So, needless to say, I'm super scared about getting OHSS and I think my RE is too.  He put me on some meds to try and prevent it, but that's not a definite thing either.  OHSS is a problem when the ovaries are hyper stimulated, when your E2 levels are as high as mine, it's a good indication that they have been over stimulated.  Some people get it mildly, but some people can have it severe and end up in the hospital...so please please pray that I don't get it :(  I'm not concerned about possibly having to freeze all my eggs and trying to transfer at a later date, I'm more concerned about my overall well-being...it's scary!  Anywho, it is out of my control at this point, I just have to PRAY really hard that it stays AWAY!  Drinking all the gatorade I can stand at this point...and even more after retrieval.  I'll be back tomorrow or Thursday for a better update on how retrieval goes :)  Thank you again for all the sweet comments of support and love!!!!!!!

Shot time!!

When I say I'm a lazy blogger, I mean it!  I really thought I would be better, especially with this IVF stuff going on.  I don't think anyone is losing sleep over lack of posts, but I do know that some follow my blog and look for updates...and to you guys, I apologize! 

I finished the birth control pills, finally, and I am on my second day of shots...whoohoo!!  My protocol is that I do 2 shots of Lupron a day, 1 shot of Gonal-F and 1 shot of Menapur...4 shots total.  I should be on this protocol for about 10-12 days.  So I learned that the first shot is the hardest!!  Yesterday morning I woke up at 6:45 and laid there thinking about what I was about to do...finally got up a little while later and headed downstairs.  I pulled the vial out of the fridge, got the shot out, wiped a fat roll with some alcohol, grabbed said fat roll with needle in hand...and then froze!!  Got sweaty, my heart raced, my stomach was in knots and then I paced for a while and talked out loud to myself.  If anyone had been around to hear me...it was quite comical.  This is some of what I said OUT LOUD, a conversation between me and the needle: "I can't do this; who does this to themselves willingly; I have to wake Jero up, no I can't wake him up it's too early; I'm just gonna give up this whole cycle I can't do it"  So after all the pacing and talking to myself, I actually realized I hadn't even drawn up the medicine into the needle!!  Geeeze.  So, now I have the medicine in there and my hands are so sweaty I can't even hold the needle :(  Have I mentioned that my entire life I've always had a needle phobia??  So, now it's time to pump myself up, enough with the negative commentary!  Out loud once again: "You got this; lot's of people do this; you want a baby, this is worth it; it's only gonna sting for a second"..and then bam, I just went for it.  It.didn't.even.hurt!  I think I had my eyes closed because I looked down and kinda shocked myself that it was actually in there.  Simple, so far.  This one is a fairly small needle, tomorrow I start two more shots and one of them is a little bit bigger.  I just keep telling myself that it's just a temporary thing and it will, hopefully, all be worth it!! 

Here are my meds...quite overwhelming!  Maybe I should be thankful it's not more, I know some women have to do more than what I'm doing.  I go back next Tuesday to check on how the meds are working.  Hopefully looking at a retrieval date of late October, we'll see! 

Thank you so much, again and again, for all of the love and support :)  I'm blown away by the comments, messages, texts that we're getting right now...we feel the love and we certainly need the support and prayers!  We continue to meditate on His word right now, knowing and feeling that no matter what happens...we are wrapped up in his LOVE and GRACE.  We are doing what we feel is appropriate to do at this point, but we know that ultimately His plan prevails...and good or bad we will hold onto His promises for us everyday. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

And it begins...

I start my birth control tonight!  So crazy...this will all be over before I can blink an eye, and hopefully end in SUCCESS!  I'll be on the birth control until I start the stims on October 20th (ironically, our 5 year anniversary).  I'm starting to get excited and trying to focus on the positive.  Trying to rephrase the "if" I get pregnant statements to "when" I get pregnant.  I hold a LOT of hope in this IVF cycle, as I feel it's our last shot. 

I was actually super excited to write this post about starting the birth control, until I received a call about our meds.  It appears we can't catch a break financially. First, we applied to receive a discount on the IVF procedure and were told we would most likely get a minimum discount of $1500...we got $500, which we are grateful for, but it's change compared to a $10,000 procedure (not including the $5000 in meds).  So, I was holding out hope that we would receive some sort of break on the meds.  Why are these people so encouraging??  This lady tells me that most people get at least a $1000 off at minimum and a lot of people get $3000 off....um, we got completely declined :(  It's so frustrating that there is zero help for people struggling to conceive, and have to resort to drastic intervention.  I am grateful for some help that we have received from family, it's just still hard to have to drain our resources.  It will be worth it in the end WHEN I'm pregnant :)