The best four years...

I'm still amazed on a regular basis that I am so richly blessed to be married to such an incredible man.  We celebrated our four year anniversary last Thursday!  These last four years have been a journey that I never could foresee.  It's amazing how you try and "plan" your life out...and God just laughs.  Even though our "plans" haven't come to fruition as we would like, we have each other and our relationship with the Lord...and that's all we really need.  Jeromy has been the rock in our relationship, he is mostly a fearless and very strong man.  He's not very emotional, but has the biggest heart.  I give him credit for strengthening my journey with the Lord, and this is what I'm most thankful for.

When I think of the enormous love I have for him, I am reminded of what led me to him.  I am reminded that through pain and suffering, the Lord actually is working in your life to bring you to a better place...ultimately to bring Him greater glory.  Shortly before I started dating my husband, I was in a relationship that ended very badly.  I had been engaged to a guy for about a year.  Throughout our relationship I saw several red flags, I ultimately chose to ignore those.  Looking back, these red flags should have been deal breakers, but I suppose when you're planning a wedding all you can see is the big picture...which is your wedding day.  Without getting into too much detail (b/c I have a public blog, and I'm not that kinda girl), he came to me three weeks before our wedding and told me that he couldn't go through with it.  This was a Friday night, and the next day was a combo wedding shower and bachelorette party...talk about devastation.  All I could think about was the embarrassment I was about to face.  All I wanted to do was cry, cry and cry some more and never leave my house.  In hindsight, I think I was more devastated and embarrassed about having to call off our wedding than actually not marrying him.

Shortly after ending that relationship, I met my husband (well I knew him, we just never got to know each other).  I only tell this story, as a testimony to what our God can do in our lives when all we see is devastation or loss...but in His precise plan, He is working to mend our hearts and to bring us to a higher place.  When I was engaged to that guy I was a Christian, but he was not; I wanted children, but he did not.  It was a perfect mis-match, and because I was blinded by certain things, my Lord took care of business for me...even when I wasn't looking for Him to do so, I'm ashamed to say.

I couldn't imagine life without my husband, and clearly neither could the Lord, because He divinely placed him there...glory be to God!!  I couldn't imagine going through this journey with anyone else, I just wanna shout from the roof tops how much I love this man of mine and how incredibly thankful I am for him!!!!  Our life isn't perfect, but I think there is beauty in that.  The journey that led me to my husband reminds me of the journey that we are currently on to have a child.  It's shaky, it's devastating...but we will remain faithful knowing that our Lord, full of grace and mercy, will indeed bless us in His own way in His own timing...and indeed, we will be in a higher place giving God all the glory!!