Chained to a Desk...

Yes folks, that's me...CHAINED TO MY DESK!!! **Warning**...I'm venting here, b/c my hubs and family are sooo OVER my whining! I'm losing my mind here, literally. I have daily headaches, backaches, neckaches, buttaches (yes, I went there). I'm pretty sure I could JUMP out of my skin at any given time and run off into oncoming traffic, without blinking an eye. Yes, my friends, I know I chose this lovely job...BUT, it would've been helpful to know during my interview these things:

1. You will sit at your desk at ALL times unless on a break or at lunch

2. If you, by chance, need to step away from your desk you will be reprimanded like a 2 yr old

3. The chair that you will reside in will be oversized, underpadded and most likely from 1982

4. The neon lights overhead, in addition to staring at a computer screen, will give you the most annoying and nauseating headache on a consistent basis

5. You will freeze while in your "hole" b/c they are trying to ward off diseases, and when you beg for a heater they will tell you to bundle up instead...WTH????

6. You will be so entirely bored at work, you might lose a little bit of your sanity and blog about how much you hate your job...BUT, don't you dare leave your desk!!!

Let's move on to my "boss" (that's what everyone seems to call her, still can't figure it out). I'm going to try and remain respectful in my next few comments, but please forgive me if it gets ugly! I, for the life of me, can't figure out how she is in a leadership position??? I've been a manager since I was 24, so on a DAILY basis I try to wrap my mind around some of the things she says and does. I try to find the method to her madness, but just can't, and it's killing me trying to! In all honesty, maybe just maybe, it IS b/c I've been in a leadership role for so long and I can't tolerate being the "peon", I have no shame in saying that. I say that b/c I wouldn't pull half of the malarkey this woman pulls! So, YES, once again I chose this lovely job...But it would've been helpful to know during my interview these things:

1. On your first week at work, your "boss" will gossip to you about the other "boss" in another dept...and a few others (do you understand how disturbing and wrong this is???)

2. She will continue the gossip, backstabbing, fabrication of certain things, lying and so on...until you want to leave your desk (heaven forbid) and shout from the roof tops what a hypocrite she is, but you remain silent

3. You will be denied 95% of the requests you ask for, "just because"

4. If someone passes away in your family you will be given no condolences, instead you will be given a hard time about the time you need off (granted it was my Grandfather-in-law, but have a heart!)

5. You will see double standards on a DAILY basis

6. And if you're sick or going through a hard time, no biggie...there's a job to do! (like my job is that important)

Let's pause for a moment...DO I SOUND BITTER OR WHAT??? Ok, back to the complaining!

7. You will notice that there are favorites and others that receive "special treatment", but you don't (hey, I'm ok with not getting special treatment, but for the love of Pete BE FAIR)

8. You will be reminded that if you don't like your job, you CAN be replaced (who says that??? great way of building morale and making employees feel valued!)

9. Your boss will be an extremely MANIPULATIVE woman who tends to forget EVERYTHING you tell her, twist things around, make up rules as she goes (uugghh), must I go on...I'm being so mean! I think you get the picture

Ok, lastly, the patients. Now, I adore working with the patients (really I do), I love people (just not my boss). BUT, when people go to a Dr's office they tend to lose all their senses! Especially their sense of direction. Ok, I understand that they probably haven't been here before or that it is a big office, BUT it would've been helpful to know during my interview these things:

1. You will become a traffic director

2. When you tell someone (everyone) to take a left, they will ultimately take a right and go the wrong way...you will get to the point that you stop chasing them down (although, this is a FABULOUS opportunity to leave your desk)

3. When you schedule returning appointments for your patients, they will feel like they are deciding whether or not they are going to purchase their future home...MAKE A FLIPPIN DECISION...I PROMISE IT WILL NOT AFFECT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE...MONDAY OR TUESDAY PEOPLE, 9 OR 10 AM...IT'S NOT THAT HARD...YOU DON'T NEED TO CALL YOUR HUSBAND, KIDS, GRANDPARENTS TO SEE WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO BE DOING ON JANUARY 11th 2010...OH, I DON'T HAVE TIME (well, yea I really do, but whatever) FOR YOU TO GET YOUR PALM PILOT OUT AND SEE IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING SCHEDULED A YEAR FROM NOW...NO I DON'T KNOW THE RESULTS OF YOUR EXAM...NO I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HAVE SUCH A HIGH DEDUCTIBLE (talk to your "boss" about that, maybe they're nicer than mine)...AND FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, I CAN'T EXPLAIN YOUR BILL TO YOU ANY OTHER WAY THAN I ALREADY HAVE FOR THE 10th TIME...CALL YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY!!!

Oh, WOW, do I feel better! I'm gonna have a great day today. I'm also gonna get a new job...wish me luck :) And, once again, PLEASE forgive me for being so hateful...I'm really not that way, really!