Too Funny....

Boredom can bring you to some funny places! I stumbled upon another blog today and found this. I couldn't stop laughing and neither will you!!! Some questions asked by people on a pregnancy website that a lady took the liberty of answering in her own unique way...


BEFORE THE PREGNANCY:

Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather then briefs?
Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.

Are birth control pills deductible?
Only if they don't work.

What is a chastity belt?
A labor-saving device.

Should I have a baby after 35?
No, 35 children are enough.

Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.

My husband and I are very attractive. I'm sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
Your therapist.

DURING THE PREGNANCY:

How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
If it's the flu, you'll get better.

I normally wear a size 34-C bra. Now that I'm pregnant, should I continue to wear a bra?
Not if you don't mind switching in the future to a size 34-Long.

What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
Childbirth.

I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
Yes, your bladder.

Ever since I've been pregnant, I haven't been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
Depends on what you're doing with them.

Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor?
When the sex is between your husband and another woman.

My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning?
It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make it's way out of you.

What are forceps?
Giant baby tweezers.

Does labor cause hemorrhoids?
Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.

AFTER THE PREGNANCY:

Will I love my dog less when the baby is born?
No, but your husband might get on your nerves.

Under what circumstances should a baby not be circumcised?
When it's a girl, for starters.

Where is the best place to store breast milk?
In your breasts.

Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
Yes, baby lips.

What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

How does one sanitize nipples?
Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

What are the terrible twos?
Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.

What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
When you see teeth marks.

What is the grasp reflex?
The reaction of new father's when he sees new mother's breasts.

What happens to disposable diapers after they're thrown away?
They are stored in a silo in the Midwest, in the event of global chemical warfare.

Do I have to have a baby shower?
Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

What causes baby blues?
Tanned, hard-bodied, knock outs.

What is colic?
A reminder for new parents to use birth control.

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
When the kids are in college.

Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
Yes, pregnancy.

Who Do You Look Like???

So, I was bored at work today (I know, that's bad) and created my "Celebrity Look-alikes". A couple don't surprise me b/c I've heard it before, like Teri Hatcher and Paula Abdul. I'm kinda digging the Jessica Alba and Eva Mendes pics, b/c my hubs is IN LOVE with them...hahaha! To my blogging buddies out there (the 2 or 3 of you), go ahead...create one, they're fun!!!

Surprise, Surprise!!!

We spent the weekend in Hickory celebrating the BIG 4-0 of Jeromy's cousin and her husand. It was a SURPRISE birthday party for the two of them! They thought they were attending a party of one of their friends, and to their surprise it was for them...

Lauri and Jeff

Jero and I with my BIL and SIL

Patti with her boys

Patti with the BEST daughter-in-laws EVER :)

Jero's other cousin Sandi and her husband Ray

Ok, I know there are a million pics of us...

but, this is what you'll get until the family grows :)

My absolutely ADORABLE husband!!!

Jeromy and his Grandfather
(prayers for his healing & strength, please)

Patti, her sister Libbie and Gama

Cutie pies Brady and Jake, Lauri and Sandi's boys

Precious baby doll Piper, check out her dimples!!!

Jero and Brady

Baseball Games & Ocean Waves

Our Vacation in Indian Rocks Beach!!!

Jero and the boys playing "Rock Band"

...let me tell you how much fun that is to watch...NOT :)

Leya & I at the first of FIVE games of the week!

(defeating side note: they won ONE out of FIVE games!)


Our HOT Boys!!!



The Capitals from afar...

Base hit BABY!!!

Doing what he does best!

As Jero calls it...War Paint!!!

Still dreaming of "Rock Band"!!!

Kris & Leya, sweet couple!

Us...again

Some of the guys from the baseball team.

They were an awesome group of guys!!!

On the beach! Everyday was beautiful!!!

VACATION...FINALLY!!!

We're headed to Indian Rocks Beach, FL on Saturday morning! It's near Clearwater, FL. Jeromy has another baseball tournament (I'm not complaining) all next week. We've booked a condo on the beach, and I'm looking forward to some R&R!!! We're going with Leya & Kris, the same couple we went with to Raleigh for the last tournament. I'll be back with some great pictures of good times :) Have a great week guys!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The Right Frame of Mind...

So, as I awoke this morning to find out that Obama won I was: scared, sick, worried, fearful! I was full of many unknowns as to what Obama will bring to this nation, or what he won't. I was ready to blog with madness and spew things such as he has too many anti-american influences, that I hope don't mentor him while he is in office; that some of our freedoms might be curtailed; how could a leader with such little experience lead our country; his lack of foreign policy that might eventually invite terrifying things. (OK, so I did go into detail anyways, but whatever.)

With all that said, I truly had to get in the "Right Frame of Mind" to accept this, b/c after all it is what it is now. I have prayed that the Lord would put the right person in office. The Lord directs the hands of Kings. This didn't surprise Him, and neither will one day moving forward surprise Him. The Lord is still in control and we must walk in that Faith! Help us then, as individuals and as a nation, to embrace Your mission for each of us: to do what is fair and just to our neighbor; to be compassionate and loyal in our love; and to make You and Your desires our ultimate concern...

ELECTION DAY!!!

JUST FOR THE RECORD...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

RENO 911...

DEPUTY DANGLE & OFFICER JOHNSON

ON THE FORCE

SHOOT FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER

DEPUTY DANGLE TO PROTECT AND SERVE
FUTURE PRESIDENT McCAIN...OH
AND JOE THE PLUMBER!!!


AND OFFICER JOHNSON HAS GOT
GOVERNOR PALIN'S BACK...





OFFICER JOHNSON AND THE BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY


McCAIN/PALIN 08' BABY!!!

OK, OK...YOU KNOW WE HAD TO DO IT!!!

HOW NAUGHTY!!! IT'S HALLOWEEN RIGHT?

THE DEPUTY DANGLE & McCAIN SHOW

I HAD TO POST THIS PIC OF ME,

B/C I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT DIDN'T

DRINK, AND LOOK AT ME THE NEXT MORNING! NO SHAME ;)

I really hope everyone had a FUN and SAFE Halloween!!!